Overcoming perfectionism can be a pretty big challenge. It’s definitely harder than you think and is a common struggle for professional actors, artists, musicians, creatives, and innovators. Always wanting your work to be absolutely perfect before sharing it could be preventing you from opening doors to more opportunities and experiences. Often when we’re holding ourselves back in this regard, we’ll get stuck in a cycle of low self-esteem, putting confidence on a downward spiral.
Understanding The Issues That Are Created When We’re Obsessed With Perfection
Essentially, the problems that arise from chasing after perfection will stop you from achieving your highest potential. Some people might wonder “how is being perfect a bad thing”? It’s when you are caught up in a quest to achieve a goal that is unattainable, the energy for flow and creativity is stifled. Other options and possibilities will be overlooked, not getting the true chance they deserve. Which could have led to a new and beautiful path or relationship being added to our lives. This obsession with a perfect outcome is an unhealthy mental rigidity that will not serve you best or your self-image. The most wonderful results are usually formed from a place of alignment so that it can be born through you.
Constantly striving for perfection can stop you from breaking free and showing you what you may not have been able to see before. You will only realize the next most aligned step after taking the first one. This is why I believe creation from the start should never be formed into something you think it should be as your vision will really only grow by each step that is taken.
Perfectionism will not only limit your creativity but also the business or career element due to an inability to pursue opportunities that could lead to success. Don’t allow your talent and skills to be overshadowed by something as limiting as the idea of perfection. There are other ways to reach for the highest results that won’t hold your potential back and will generate a more productive environment for you to thrive in.
Taking A Closer Look At Where These Challenges Come From
According to researchers, 15-20% or about 1 in 5 individuals in the world are highly sensitive people. Performers, artists, creatives and high achieving types commonly can be identified as having these attributes. As a highly sensitive person myself, we already feel our brain is programmed to be fully engaged and always want to give our best which can lead down the road to burnout. This isn’t because we can’t take the pressure but much more so that we feel the need to become deeply involved and will give our everything to the job/career/cause, sometimes losing sight of ourselves in the process.
That level of commitment is draining of our energy and causes a person to crash completely. Increasingly so, when things aren’t going the way you planned or pictured, we might begin feeling our failures or mistakes affecting us personally. As a highly sensitive person, I can say from experience, we have the tendency to project everything onto ourselves, resulting in very low mental health, including self-esteem and confidence.
I’d recommend, when you are performing or creating, give yourself room to drop the ball. Allow yourself the space to make mistakes, and know that we learn from our failures. When those inevitable short fallings arise keep an eye on your self-talk. Note how you speak to yourself when things aren’t going the way they “should”. Often you’ll see that the noise in your head after doing something “wrong” is heartbreaking.
The way we talk to ourselves can be much more negative than what we would ever say to another person. That can come from underlying feelings and personal doubts that we’re not good enough.
What does your self-talk sound like?
Can you be kind to yourself, even when things go wrong?
Do you know how to be gentle and accepting towards yourself?
For me this lesson was a huge process, but one that paid itself in full when applied.
Strategies For Moving Past The Struggle To Live The Perfect Life
Managing the way you speak to yourself is critical. When you’re setting the bar high the need for an optimistic, positive attitude, and kindness towards yourself is invaluable.
Be conscious of what the little voice in your head is saying to you and if it’s not treating you right, focus on changing the record. Wanting to be the best should be tied to treating yourself like the best. If the substance of your self-talk isn’t pushing you onward, or lifting you up then it’s time to fix it. There is no one in the world like you. We’re all different and have unique gifts to give to the world. Sure you may make mistakes but everyone does and the comeback can always be bigger than the setback. Dismiss negative thoughts and replace them with ones that serve you in a more healthy way. You are in charge of your mind and can train your brain to work for you instead of against you.
I absolutely believe when you begin to love yourself your relationship with everyone changes for the better.
Aim For Excellence Instead Of Perfection
Perfection is a frustrating confine to put on whatever it is you hope to achieve. It implies going after a result which is most likely inexplicably difficult to accomplish. This creates a setting that can be daunting, unrewarding, and unproductive for work and creation. On the other hand, excellence means that you will do your best, give it your all, and take on whatever circumstances that present themselves. Keeping our efforts in line with excellence as the goal is lighter than the weight of trying to always be perfect. You can feel the difference in attitude between the two spaces. Doing your best is in actuality all you can do because as humans, perfection is unrealistic and unattainable.
Working towards excellence is more rewarding and so is the perspective of just trying your best and giving it your all while knowing it’s also not a perfect world and won’t always work out the way you want. This perception is a different way of assessing situations. Instead of feeling disappointment from not reaching standards of perfection, positive hormones will be released knowing that you did your best, making you happier about yourself. There will be subconscious reinforcement of your abilities, also building your belief in your next moves, allowing increased energy to flow. Now you’re sending the spiral upwards instead of going down.
Ensure You Have A Safe Place To Land When You Fall Short. We Learn & Grow From Mistakes.
You will get knocked down and it is how you respond that determines your resilience, drive, and determination. When you are at your lows, are you tearing yourself down or building yourself up? Retrain your brain to shift the way you look at these obstacles, like anything else it will take time and practice. Stop judging yourself, stop comparing yourself to others, and have healthy boundaries.
Why be your worst critic when you can be your best friend? No one is perfect. We are all a work in progress and by learning to let go of the little voice inside our heads, we can begin to open up our mind to more potential. In tuning out the pressures we put on ourselves, along with the stresses from the outside world, we can step into our talents on a deeper level and develop our strengths. Results will start coming from connection, flow, and fun. You will start living your best life everyday.
WRITTEN BY
Cathy Spaas