Twenty years ago, I stumbled into an amazing experience where my life went from mediocre to extraordinary. As quick as that, I was transformed. This “moment” that changed everything was when I learned to move my body in a way that I had never moved it before. Now this might seem strange, right? I thought so too. But hear me out. This moment of movement was a hip circle. Not just any hip circle but a giant (and I mean giant) slow hip circle that unlocked my pelvis from years of straight linear movement. It wasn’t just a physical unlocking that occurred. What unlocked with my hip joint was years of shame and repression. Years of making myself smaller to make others more comfortable in my presence. Years of playing it safe to avoid backlash, judgment, condescension, and ostracization. Years of fitting in as a feminine creature in a masculine world.
Once my hips opened, the rest of my body followed suit. My upper body unlocked, my back elongated, my legs released. My shoulders freed and my chest opened. I was able to access my full body potential through movement. What I unlocked was an inherent feminine movement, my inherent feminine movement, my feminine being.
In my work, as the founder and creator of S Factor, an embodiment & movement practice for women that not only intelligently opens and strengthens the feminine body but also reconnects her to her vitality, sensuality, and core desires. I have asked and answered the following two questions along the way:
How do you sustain yourself as a feminine creature in a masculine world?
How do you reorient yourself toward more feminine values to embrace all of who you are as a feminine being and reconnect with your feminine self?
In the process of teaching S Factor in the studio, at workshops, on retreats, and virtually, I identified five feminine geniuses—our superpowers—that allow each of us and ALL of us to refocus our energy toward the feminine and balance the masculine nature of our world. It all starts with awakening. We need to wake up to the feminine values we have been hiding away and embrace our superpowers. And here they are, our five feminine geniuses.
1 - Curve of Movement
It all starts with your body. The feminine body is one of gentle lines and curves. Our shape is that of an S: sensuous, smooth, and soft. We are not the straight lines of men; we are balanced curves. When we embrace the curves of our body and find freedom of movement outside of the strict masculine confines, we can embody a more natural flow of being in our everyday lives and move through the world more centered, more open, more ourselves—as women.
2 - Sensuality
Not to be confused with sexuality, sensuality is the ability to fully experience your body through all of your five senses. How often do we ignore the feelings we experience every day? By opening ourselves up to the tastes, colors, smells, sounds, and textures of the world around us, we can embody a fuller experience of ourselves and our world. Instead of relying on data and logical information, lean in and rely on what you sense—how it feels to be in the moment. As humans, we once relied on our senses for safety, growth, and pleasure—now we rely on data. How can we get back to our nature as sensual beings? Pay attention to what’s around you, consciously focus on what your senses reveal to you, and you’ll be closer to living an embodied feminine life.
3 - Emote-ability
Emote-ability is our capacity to move and express pure energy in a healthy and productive way. Instead of avoiding our emotions, we can embrace them. We can allow emotional energy to be where it’s supposed to be, to use that energy to enhance our experience in the world. Emotions are our life fuel—they move us away from threats and toward beauty, life, and joy. This is ALL emotions, not just the fun ones! Light and dark are equally important—fear moves us from danger, joy moves us toward MORE joy—surprise moves us toward curiosity. Emotions help us move forward in our lives, and by embracing them, instead of pushing them down and suppressing them, we can live more fully, seeing all that our world has to offer.
4 - Connection
Communication is the fabric of a community and of a culture. In our masculine world, we value independence—but what if instead, we leaned into interdependence? If we focus on how we can connect with each other, we will be able to bring out the best in our colleagues, friends, and family. If we stop competing against each other and instead compete WITH our communities toward shared goals, we will all move forward faster, better, and stronger. Let’s lean on each other, communicate, and connect through our body, curves, and emotions—in doing so, we plug into humanity.
5 - Intuition
Have you ever had a moment where something just feels off? You might not know how to explain it, but your gut is telling you that something isn’t quite right. In our modern world, we are taught to ignore these natural instincts, to focus on logic and reason instead. However, if we readjust and start listening to our intuition more, we’ll realize it’s right, more-often-than-not! We as women need to remember what it feels like to trust ourselves. Yes, we can trust our logical minds, but we can also trust our natural intuition. In doing so, we can navigate the world not through our logical minds, but through our bodies— because what knows better than our own bodies to experience pleasure and joy?
Leaning into our feminine nature and focusing on the five feminine geniuses does not mean letting go of logic and reason. Instead, it helps us achieve balance in an unbalanced world. For most of our lives, women have flexed the muscles of logic and rationale thinking. Now, we need to lean into our bodies, our sensations, and trust our intuition. By living through these feminine values, we can reclaim ourselves, our lives, and our bodies. We can find our feminine nature in a masculine world.
When Simone Biles withdrew from Olympic competition, I was one of those who sighed with disappointment. I wanted to see her fly and twist and be magnificent right along with everyone else. And then I stepped back into my own body: WAIT. I centered my physical experience and allowed myself to hear my intuition. When I listened to myself, when I felt my own experience in my own body, I remembered that what Simone did was truly magnificent. I remembered that every time I pushed my own body to its limits, it was not for my own pleasure but to reach a masculine definition of success. When Simone simply said NO, she followed her intuition. She knew something was off. She embraced her emotions, in the moment, and she chose her safety, she chose her emotional health, and she chose herself and her body—all over winning, over ego, and over the enormous global pressure to excel and dominate on the Olympic field. Simone Biles chose her feminine over the world’s masculine. And though she faced backlash, overall, she was praised for her decision to take care of herself, her mental and physical health. This was huge! It was huge for Simone, and it was huge for everyone watching—a global recognition of the value of the feminine and the quality of life over quantity.
More and more, we are hearing about mental and emotional health. We’re hearing about people standing up to heal their body traumas. We are seeing the feminine rise, whether we call it by that name, or not. Simone Biles used her five feminine superpowers, and in doing so, she set a profoundly powerful example for the rest of us, women and men alike. Simone showed us the true power and strength in choosing the quality of her life rather than the quantifiable success of winning. And you know what? She took home a medal anyway.
That’s what it means to be a feminine being.
WRITTEN BY
Sheila Kelley