Writing "you're allowed to walk away from people you love" seems counter-intuitive. It sends a shock to the system.

Why would anyone want to walk away from someone they love? 

Walking away from someone who’s made your life a living hell seems reasonable, but someone you love? No. 

Walking away takes a heart that can hold vast amounts of sadness yet still, see hope in valuing something more. It takes courage to walk away. It’s sometimes the bravest thing a person can do. 

Walking away from people you love is not a failure. It’s listening to your intuition. 

Too many of us are riddled with guilt, develop diseases, sickness, and wonder if we’re going to hell because of how terrible leaving makes us feel. 

It doesn’t have to be as tragic as it sounds. In times of financial hardship, economic stress, compassion fatigue, and teetering relationships, walking away is a tool to pause volatile environments instead of destroying them. 

Walking away from people you love doesn’t have to be a permanent arrangement, though it can be. 

This isn’t about leaving for something fickle or abandoning responsibility. I’m talking about tough, laborious decisions. Knowing something doesn’t feel right then taking action to rectify it.

Why walk away from someone you love?

  • Love always allows choice, even when the choice goes against everything you want. Walking away is sometimes an act of letting the other person live their dreams, even when you disagree. Some people need to do things their way. This can range from allowing your adult child to make their own decisions to giving your spouse the freedom to pursue their passion. 
  • You may walk away from people who aren’t hearing from you. Usually, it’s because they’re dealing with their own demons. Right now, they can’t understand things from your point of view. It’s a circumstance of life; you may have drifted apart.
  • You may walk away from people who continually put you down. Your health is destroyed when you keep destructive people close to your life. Many problems stem from poor boundaries with overbearing family, friends, and people you love.
  • You may need to walk away from someone you love for their protection. Perhaps you’re an unsafe person. You need to use this moment to get clean, get help, and process your emotions. This is a gift to yourself and your loved ones.
  • Walking away brings clarity. Some people need to do it their way. They need to be hospitalized ten times; they need to have their stomach pumped; they need to have that near-death experience. They need to hit rock bottom. Sure, you might not get it; why wouldn’t they choose the easy way? But we’re all skeptical of things that look too easy, aren’t we?

Here’s what walking away can look like.

You can emotionally walk away. You can safeguard your vulnerability against people who haven’t earned or misused your trust by pulling back. Be careful not to confuse this with stonewalling, which is completely shutting down, one of the later signs of relationship breakdown.

  • Emotional distance looks more like giving people guarded access to your heart and increasing responsibility as they show themselves trustworthy.
  • This also looks like lowering your expectations of people, acknowledging that you can’t force anyone, except yourself, to change.

Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t. – Steve Maraboli

You can walk away by creating physical distance. Whether it’s intrusive in-laws or family members, creating physical distance is sometimes all you need to strengthen your relationship. 

Always being around a person makes it difficult to miss them. We take each other for granted when we don’t appreciate the positive roles we play in each other’s lives. 

Take Away

Walking away from the people you love doesn’t have to be as daunting as it seems. 

It doesn’t have to mean completely cutting someone out of your life. It’s creating enough space to create growth, possibly. 

It means respecting yourself enough to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. It means giving yourself the time needed to evaluate yourself. 

Sometimes we need to hear it. 

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission.

Walking away is an art.

You can walk away from anything that doesn’t make you better.

The art of walking away is knowing the right time and place to leave, but the real art of walking away is identifying the experiences and people worth your stay.

Life is what teaches you the art of walking away.