by Dr. Nikki Goldstein · 07 Oct 2020 · 5 min read
"Do you know how hard it is to date a feminist?" My jaw dropped as the words spilled out of his mouth. I couldn't believe it was a serious question. How could this possibly be a question? "No, but I do know how hard it is to date a misogynist," is what I should have screamed back. In that instant, I suddenly felt that I wasn't 100% respected.
We are living in a time when women are rising to new heights which means they are regularly being confronted with the fear of being "too much". For women in business this is pervasive and costly. A few ways women can be perceived as "too much" are:Speaking up about their successes and achievements. Sharing one too many photos of their cute kids. Telling one too many people about that date night. Looking a little too good in that swimsuit.
The day I started writing this essay, I got in a spat with my husband while I was baking brownies with the kids. He didn't understand why I had doubled the recipe. Despite the fact that I announced this fact multiple times, because I wanted to make them thick like I did as a child. As soon as I poured the batter into the pan, he came in and said, "Oooh, that's going to be so thick! Shouldn't we split the batter into two pans?" I saw red; I lashed out on him telling him how dare he question my nostalgia brownies and why not just say, "Thank you for doing this with the kids and I can't wait to eat them"? He looked at me like I was crazy.