Election night proved again that our nation is divided; however, I believe that we can reverse the direction we have been headed. Perhaps, the divide isn’t as irreparable as many fear. Discontent is amplified on social media, which may only serve to elevate differences that have always existed. As the Netflix docudrama Social Dilemma graphically portrays, digital posts careen us from one emotion to the next as social media platforms were designed to do.
From day one, I have chosen career opportunities that have enabled me to transform chaos into sustainably higher levels of performance to the benefit of multiple stakeholders with differing stakes in the game.
I’ve learned that each of us can take actions to help turnaround a divided nation by envisioning what you want to see and working your way to that end.
On the whole, we want to see a reduction in conversations, articles, and posts that make us feel uncomfortable or targeted. Like many of you, I will take firm policy positions at the federal and state level as that is my job, but I relish – and believe we still can – agree to disagree and also move forward with our friendships and partnerships.
This belief is why I have successfully led a number of bipartisan efforts across government, business, and philanthropy. As a result of leading those efforts, I keep abreast of where alignments and positioning are occurring. I do so by putting myself on the broadest variety of lists—Left, Right, and Center. If I were to audit my social media feeds or my personal email inbox, I could easily segment posts by “kittens and unicorns,” endorsements, novel ideas, or, unfortunately, broad pejorative statements and assumptions about another group of people. I have seen people share blatantly untrue information as I knew the individuals in question or, in some cases, were present at the discussions. I have seen cruel comments directed towards friends on both sides of the aisle. I have seen rising stars highlighted in articles as individuals of great character when I have personally experienced a lack of ethical actions by that individual. You read a post or hear someone speak up in a meeting, and your stomach sinks. Did they really mean to insult me, or do they have no idea about who I am?
However, as I deconstruct the social universe around me and begin bucketing actions and conversations around commonly characteristic attributes, I also begin to see a positive trend. Although we all have opinions and personal experiences, most Americans want us to move forward without violence and as a united country focused on making the world a better place for our kids.
We want jobs, safe neighborhoods, and good health. I see this also in the meetings I have hosted. My colleagues do not end up grouped by politics, but instead, they choose a person they enjoying sitting beside someone who shares their manner of engaging in discussion or have something in common
– loud people, thoughtful ones, people willing to talk about something else beyond the topic of the day so they can find common ground, the funny people, the exercise fanatics, those with school-aged kids or grandchildren. The photos come out. Information gets shared.
For example, I was incredibly touched when someone with whom I had points of disagreement at a DC meeting sent me a book that she thought would be helpful as we looked at college options for my daughter based on our dinner conversation. That simple considerate kindness created a long-term, respectful, and positive working relationship.
Over the next few months, each of us can decide who we want to be. As I look at the election results and conversational aftermath, I recognize it is time for me to dust off my 60/40 rule.
If I agree with someone 60 percent of the time, I trust we can agree to set aside the 40 percent of disagreement and find a path forward.
We begin by assigning a performance value to the processes, policies, and assets and determine what we can keep as part of our discussion or set aside. Then we toss the areas of disagreement into the proverbial “parking lot” and transition our discussion to potential alignment. Oftentimes the steps are very small. But by the end, together, you can achieve a tangible goal that gives everyone a sense of achievement.
Remember to think of one positive thing you can do each day. Send an email acknowledging something you appreciated. Check on your opponent’s sick family member. Send a job post for a role that might be perfect for someone’s new college grad. Ultimately, we are just people – we are Americans – the beneficiaries of many who fought and died for our freedom to vote.
Let’s honor them by mending our fractures to help turn around our nation.
WRITTEN BY
Lisa Gable