When thinking about what the number one thing women are doing that can hurt them in a relationship, this is the one thing I feel commonly comes back to bite us in the ass, especially in heterosexual relationships.
Women in the Western world have been sold a faulty dream. Raised in families that encouraged us to be strong and independent, we've strived to become successful — to reach the top — in a world that wasn't designed for us. This is myth of empowerment, and I'll be exploring its true cost for all women.
The day I started writing this essay, I got in a spat with my husband while I was baking brownies with the kids. He didn't understand why I had doubled the recipe. Despite the fact that I announced this fact multiple times, because I wanted to make them thick like I did as a child. As soon as I poured the batter into the pan, he came in and said, "Oooh, that's going to be so thick! Shouldn't we split the batter into two pans?" I saw red; I lashed out on him telling him how dare he question my no
It's time to get over it, guys.
"Do you know how hard it is to date a feminist?" My jaw dropped as the words spilled out of his mouth. I couldn't believe it was a serious question. How could this possibly be a question? "No, but I do know how hard it is to date a misogynist," is what I should have screamed back. In that instant, I suddenly felt that I wasn't 100% respected.
I've spent years now encouraging people to have difficult conversations, to talk about the things that are bothering them and yet, remain unspoken. I've read the research showing that couples who argue effectively, instead of staying quiet and avoiding conflict are ten times more likely to have a happy relationship.
We are living in a time when women are rising to new heights which means they are regularly being confronted with the fear of being "too much". For women in business this is pervasive and costly. A few ways women can be perceived as "too much" are:Speaking up about their successes and achievements. Sharing one too many photos of their cute kids. Telling one too many people about that date night. Looking a little too good in that swimsuit.
I don't like to make predictions. There's a degree of hubris involved in any effort at prognostication; the future is an unknowable thing, mysterious and hazy and prone to rapid shifts, evident in the way the last half-decade utterly upended the conventional view of where America and the world were heading. But it's not just a new year; it's an entirely new decade, which is a cause for reflection not on the past, but on the future. What kind of world do we want to build?
When Emma Mcilroy was seven-years-old, she loved fossil hunting behind the home where she grew up in Ireland.
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