We’re entering a second disruption of re-emergence into the “new normal.” This endemic requires reorientation, adjustment, and a different kind of learning. People in organizations, businesses, and social systems feel this need. Women, perhaps, feel it most strongly. Data and anecdotal evidence show that women especially are devoting more time responding to childcare, eldercare, and homecare, often at the expense of careers and a sense of well-being.

As a woman, a coach, and a group facilitator, I’m interested in strategies of resilience and adaptability that support reframing disruption as a potential opportunity for positive change. Resilience refers to the capacity to work through and to overcome setbacks. Adaptability refers to the ability to make necessary adjustments that let us move forward. Resilience and adaptability need to be embedded in the narratives we use when confronting adversities.

My late mother serves me as an example of such a narrative. After surviving the loss of her family in WWII, she immigrated to Montreal, Canada. Despite few resources and formidable social and language challenges, within 10 years, she began a fifty-year career as a successful realtor. A compelling story of resilience and adaptability can be empowering; a catalyst to keep trying. We all carry the stories we tell ourselves about what is and is not possible. Among the first steps in managing disruption is to review those stories. Do the stories you tell yourself reinforce your fears, or do they inspire your sense of possibility? Choose what is inspiring, and take actions to exercise and build your resilience and adaptability. Here are some ways to do so:

  • I encourage a self-audit of the “seven resilience muscles” that help us meet our challenges: positivity, confidence, priorities, creativity, connection, structure, and experimenting. I offer this short introduction to stimulate curiosity and invite further investigation.
  • Adaptability can be strengthened through self-awareness, reflection, and mindfulness. Can you identify unsettling emotional patterns as they emerge or re-emerge in particular circumstances? When faced with uncertainty or ambiguity, does your anxiety overwhelm your ability to take action? Mindful breathing practices can shift emotional intensity or anxiety to a more centered and neutral state. In order to become a powerful tool, though, mindful breathing needs to be a daily practice done while in a calm state, so that the body learns to recognize those physical cues as signals for pausing and centering. Mindful breathing practices help us embody a relaxed but alert state, a zone where we are most aware and responsive.
  • Self-awareness and reflection sustain choiceful self-regulation. Multi-tasking is a myth. People who can successfully manage several issues, seemingly at once, actually shuttle between them, choosing which to prioritize at different times. Boundary management, then, is crucial, being clear within ourselves about what needs our attention, and what can be deferred or even let go. All too often, we say “yes” under ill-defined pressures when we want or need to say “no.” When the important boundaries of “yes” and “no” aren’t clear in our own awareness, the results can be damaging. Women seem particularly burdened, still, with a covert social obligation to be able to “do it all,” to handle both family and career with equal proficiency. This frequently leads to exhaustion, resignation, and even resentment. Identifying what we want and need, and learning when to say “yes” or “no,” is a core facet of the self-regulation of our energy commitments. Staying energized, in turn, supports our resilience and adaptability.
  • Finally, a support group, whether a formal team of colleagues or an informal circle of friends, is vital to give feedback, validation, and encouragement. Coaching originated from the belief that partnering with others to review alternate perspectives and possibilities could liberate new behaviors and opportunities. It can function like the rearview mirror on a car, helping us to see the blind spots we’re missing and maneuver our path with greater clarity. The Gottman Institute’s work on building stable and healthy relationships revealed that positive feedback and validation were key factors.


“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” Challenge and disruption can serve to teach us how to navigate with resilience and adaptability. We can learn these skills guided by Awareness Intelligence™, my conception of the inner capacities that are the most powerful strategies and techniques for achieving self-awareness, presence, and influence. This intelligence is the result of learning how to identify, experiment with, adapt, and use what we become aware of to stimulate innovative change that furthers ourselves and others. Adversity can contribute to positive change for those who are able and willing to adapt; success doesn’t always go to the strongest, as even Darwin admitted. And women appear, to me, remarkably adept at adapting. I celebrate our resilience and adaptability. It’s time now to capitalize on our strengths.