Have you ever played the game 'Among Us'? It's an online, multiplayer social deduction game. You can play with 4 to 10 people you know or with internet strangers. The goal of the game? Root out the player who's playing the imposter before they can kill the rest of you.

Among Us is a great case study in how we, as humans, can also be played, by Imposter Syndrome. 

Imposter Syndrome isn't related to an accurate view of our skills or abilities. In fact, 70% of people will experience Imposter Syndrome at some point, meaning:

  • They'll feel like a fraud or a fake
  • Be unable to realistically assess their skills
  • Sabotage their own success or attribute it to external factors
  • Experience self-doubt
  • Feel fear that they won't live up to expectations

So, How Do We Root Out Imposters in Real Life?

In 'Among Us', one way for the imposter player to get busted is to go through the vents and be caught by the other players. Players can also enter into a security room and watch others on the cameras, and catch the imposter that way.

Sometimes, like in the game, we're really aware of our imposter. They'll make moves or create an internal dialogue that's so ridiculous we can easily call them out. For example, say you go into a non-threatening room to give a talk you've given fifteen times before to an audience who's eager to hear what you have to say. If the imposter creeps into that situation and whispers that you're going to bomb, it's easy to spot them and say I don't believe you. We can easily move on, kick the imposter out, and keep going.

But at other times in our lives, the imposter is pretty sneaky and quick, and they can get in our heads without us even realizing it.

Right now, we're in a systemically stressful time, we're going through personal loss, community stressors from the pandemic, resources being shut down or modified, and people feeling more physically disconnected and socially isolated. Those conditions mean that it's easier for the imposter to sneak up because the stakes are so high.

When the imposter is being sneaky, here are three takeaways to banish them, and win the game: 

  • First, we need to recognize what kind of game we're in, and that means increasing our situational awareness. Increased stress increases the likelihood that an imposter can get in and question our readiness and experience. Being aware of our situations, like knowing we're tired because we were up with a baby, or we have an intense work deadline coming up that's causing us stress, helps up blow some of the imposter's cover.
  • Next, we need to recognize which tools have worked for us in the past and dip back into that offensive toolbox. This is probably not the first time in your life that you've experienced feelings of self-doubt or questioning of your readiness and experience. What has helped you in the past? Taking a deep breath and recentering on the task at hand? Imagining yourself kicking ass at a task before doing it? Reminding yourself of advice from a mentor that helped you reframe a past experience? All of these tools are available for you to use again.

You can also add new tools, given that these are unprecedented times for most of us:

  • You can train yourself to be your own ideal coach by asking what you need to hear in a specific situation. What would you want your ideal coach to say or do? What would be the timing of the statement, would it be instructional? Would it be challenging? Would it be supportive?

You know best how you need to be spoken to right now. Your running dialogue can be your friend in helping you make it through a particularly challenging or frightening day.

  • You can also regulate your emotions with breathing exercises, like box breathing. In stressful situations, breathe in for a count of 4, pause for a count of 4, breathe out to a count of 4, and pause for a count of 4. Continue this pattern for 2-5 minutes, depending on your comfort and skill level
  • You can build a "confidence resume" that you can draw on in more challenging times. List one thing you've done of late that you're proud of. Personal, social, work, whatever comes to mind. Then, make a list beginning with "I am the type of person who" and list your strengths from above. I.e., "I am the type of person who cares about helping a customer." Finally, rewrite those strengths so they're global rather than unique to that experience. "I am someone who cares about helping others, so I know I will make a difference.".
  • Apps like Confidently focus on training the mindset tools of the high performer. If you're looking for more support, these can be a great tool to try. 

Life isn't a game (especially these days!), but we can still use the framework of Among Us to put together some powerful tools to root out and expose our imposter, before they can get to us.