Getting divorced is never a fun thing to do. In fact, it’s one of the most stressful things a person can go through. Regardless of the reason for your divorce and whether you and your soon to be ex-spouse are on good terms, it’s certain to have an effect on your life.
If you have children, you’re probably even more stressed. You need to worry about what’s best for you as well as what’s best for them. On top of that, each child is different, and they may take the news badly and start acting up. While divorce can never be perfect, there are a few things you can do to make it easier for everyone involved.
Get a lawyer
Even if you and your spouse are on great terms, divorces can turn ugly. It might take a lot of stress off your shoulders to get a third party involved and know that you won’t have to make all of the difficult decisions by yourself.
A lawyer will also be able to make sure that no one is getting taken advantage of, and help with things like splitting your belongings or how to go about custody arrangements. Everything will also be on paper, which is better than verbal agreements. Non legal agreements can often lead to a he said she said situation later down the road. Getting a Napa divorce attorney could definitely ease some of your stress.
Communicate
This is something that will benefit everyone involved. You need to talk to people about how you feel, whether those people are friends, family, or a professional. It’s unhealthy to keep your feelings bottled up.
Likewise, you should communicate with your child. Be careful when doing this, though. You shouldn’t use it as an opportunity to “get them on your side”, so keep your own emotions out of it. Answer any questions they may have, and encourage them to share their feelings as well.
Have a good support system
Having a good support system is great for when the going gets tough. You need people you can rely on, people you can trust and people who you can talk to. When going through a divorce, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone. After all, the person you were planning on spending your life with is no longer there.
But you’re not alone. There are always people in this world who care about you and will want to do anything they can to ease your pain. Your child needs a good support system too. Often, divorce leaves children feeling confused and lonely. It’s important for them to know that you’re also adjusting, and that whatever they’re feeling is valid.
Stay focused
I know, I know. How on earth are you supposed to stay focused during such a tumultuous time? You’re constantly thinking about your child, your living arrangements, your finances, maybe even how you’ll fill in a gap on your CV now that you’re divorced . . . While it’s nearly impossible to stay focused all the time when you’re dealing with emotional trauma, you should at least try to focus on the bigger picture.
You’re getting divorced for a reason, and it’s important to stay mindful of that fact. Most people can’t afford to have a total meltdown: they have kids and jobs and other things to manage. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is to try your best to keep emotions out of it and focus on your next steps.
WRITTEN BY
Brand Voices