How To Leave Your Therapist and Find a New One

Breaking up with your therapist isn’t an easy task because it’s something we’d probably like to discuss with, well, our therapist. Whether you’re afraid of hurting their feelings or ending the relationship on bad terms, you need to do what’s right for you and your mental health. To make this transition more comfortable, we’ll discuss how to leave your therapist and find a new one.

There are a few telltale signs that your therapist isn’t working in your best interest. If you notice the following 6 things, you’re better off with another health care professional.

One of the big signs of a poor therapist is if they act unprofessionally, especially if you don’t have a close enough relationship that qualifies them to be more casual. 

If your therapist often forgets things you’ve told them or are unorganized, they probably aren’t using a behavioral health EHR (for your electronic health records). While a therapist can remain organized without technology, investing in these tools can help them keep your specific records, medications, and notes at the tip of their fingers.

Ghosting your therapist is tempting, but it may be better to talk to them first. It’s possible you both can resolve your issues before moving on to someone else. 

Tell your therapist that you have a specific goal in therapy and that you’re worried you’re not meeting those goals together. If at the next session they seem to ignore you or aren’t interested in exploring your end goal for therapy, quickly move on to someone else.

Depending on your needs, you may want to stay with your therapist until you find a new one. You may also want to craft a speech explaining why your professional relationship isn’t working. When the time comes, it’s better to be courteous even if you’re angry.

If you’ve only seen your therapist for less than a month, usually, a call will suffice for your breakup. However, if you think ghosting is the right option, be sure to call the front desk so you don’t get charged a no-show fee or are rescheduled to another date.

First, look for a therapist that is covered by your insurance plan by looking through your plan’s provider network. You should also ask if you plan limits sessions or whether using an out-of-network therapist will affect your out-of-pocket costs. If you don’t feel any of those therapists will work for you, try asking a friend or search on an online database:

Local resources may also be a valuable resource. Many universities and workplaces will offer a list of therapists through employees or student assistant programs. 

Some organizations can help you with a specific mental health issue:

There are plenty of organizations that support people of color like 

If one of the reasons for breaking up with your therapist was the expense, you could also try online therapy apps like Talkspace, which are more cost-effective. Online therapy apps are also more convenient for working professionals.

When looking for a new therapist, understand that your needs come first. It’s okay to ask questions about their license, experience, specialties, and treatment options before your first session. Ask your new therapist if they can help you reach your goals and monitor if they’re doing so at each session. If not, you’ll need to break up with your therapist again.