How Important is Sex to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship?

To some people, sex isn’t important at all. To others, it’s everything, and most of us fall somewhere in between these two extremes. When it comes to sexuality, everything exists on a spectrum. Asexual people rarely have sex or experience attraction, for example. Then, we have the so-called nymphomaniacs with their strange and erratic sexual behavior. 

Everyone’s approach to sex is different due to the vast variety in the way people feel about it. Sex can be a very important part of romantic relationships as a lot of people need to have some kind of a sexual connection. There are several different reasons for this. Sex is a way to show a partner affection and love. It’s a chance to bond with them. If you have sex with your partner often, your relationship might feel more secure. 

Of course, there are purely objective reasons to have sex, like if the woman is trying to get pregnant. Finally, you could be having it for its own sake. 

Apart from pure pleasure, sex has many benefits. It’s good not only for your relationship, but also for your mind and body. Studies have shown that it can be a form of great exercise. Having sex makes an unexpectedly good workout. People who have sex more often tend to have stronger immune systems, although the causal relationship isn’t clear there. 

Sex helps improve your heart health because regular intercourse lowers the risk of developing heart disease. 

Sex can relieve headaches, both cluster headaches and migraines. It improves your mental faculties. Older people who are sexually active tend to have better memories than those who aren’t. 

Like physical benefits, there are emotional ones. Sex helps you connect with your and your partner’s body in an enjoyable way. It can boost your self-confidence. It can be a way to express care and love and help you bond with your partner. When it’s good, it’s amazing as stress relief. 

None of this is to say that you’ll get sick or depressed in the absence of regular sex. It’s just to show those who do have it tend to experience improvement in other areas of life as well. None of the benefits listed here should be used to try to convince someone to have sex if they’re unwilling. 

According to a recent study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, feelings of overall well-being are linked to the frequency of the act. There is a positive correlation between them. In other words, the more often people have sex, the better they feel. 

Researchers also established sex as a reliable predictor of affection, which closes the intimacy loop because affection predicts how often you have sex. Basically, sex leads to more sex, like money can lead to more money if you invest it right. 

Sex may be a great form of intimacy, but it’s far from the only one. Touching someone gently and affectionately, for instance, is a great way to be intimate. Other forms of physical intimacy that aren’t sexual in nature include kissing, holding hands, giving them a massage, and cuddling. Many people find emotional intimacy very important as well, if not more so than physical intimacy. This includes honest conversations on sensitive topics. 

One cannot dispute the importance of sexual compatibility. It brings people together where it exists. In fact, relationships exist solely based on that. It’s debatable whether that’s a good thing, but it’s a fact of life – who are we to judge? At any rate, you can imagine being in a relationship where one person doesn’t want to make love and the other believes sex is essential. 

Inconsistency in libido levels isn’t impossible to manage. Talking about the issue is essential here. In most cases, the partner who doesn’t want sex avoids it because they’ve gotten bored. To keep things alive in the bedroom, you need to switch up your routine. 

Try a toy to change things up. Dildos are a classic choice for beginners. If you’re new to toys, it’s probably best to start with small-sized ones.

It’s important to express your wishes and desires, but make sure you do so in a non-judgmental context. Your spouse or partner needs to feel comfortable talking to you about anything. People with lasting relationships have been able to create a space, in which they broach thorny topics with little to no judgment. You don’t need to fulfill each and every single one of their wishes, but you do have to listen and, if necessary, look for an alternative to suit both of you. 

In this vein of thought, nothing is more off-putting to a partner who’s eager to talk to you than being “phubbed.” If you’re on the phone, but in the same room with them, that’s not the same as spending time together. It’s not quality time. According to a study carried out at Baylor University in Texas, “phubbing” is becoming more and more common. The term is a combination of “phone” and “snub”. The study showed almost half of all people in romantic relationships have fallen victim to it. Of them, about a quarter reported this behavior having put a “strain” on their whole relationship.

Just because some years have passed doesn’t mean the past is the past. It’s all too easy to kill spontaneity, especially with children in the picture. To keep the spark alive, have a date night at least once every ten days. The benefits of this were confirmed in a study by the Marriage Foundation, according to which couples who had regular date nights were 14% less likely to split. 

Just like it’s important to go out on dates, just the two of you, don’t stop going out with friends because this will let you see them through other people’s eyes. It might even remind you of why you fell in love with them.