#AdviceColumn: How to Get a Potential Employer to Look Past a 10-year Work Gap?

Dear Liz,

I'm in a bit of a conundrum.

Last year, my husband and I decided it was the right time for me to get back into the workforce. I'd been out of it for a long time; after college, I spent six years serving as a nuclear technician in the US Navy aboard an aircraft carrier, during which time we had our first of two children. After the Navy, I was a full-time mom while pursuing college in the evenings, and after graduating, I was elected to local office. But local office doesn't pay particularly well, and with two kids and a mortgage, we really needed a strong second income.

But even before the pandemic, I had a hard time getting work. That big ten-year gap in my work history (even with the Navy service in there!) just trips people up. I don't understand how that kind of experience, plus my education, plus my term of service, doesn't seem to matter. I would get callbacks to ask me about my time out of the workforce (before I'd even get an interview) followed by radio silence. These days, I don't even get calls. I know the labor market is crunched right now, but I need to get back out there. If employers couldn't get past that gap before the pandemic, do I have any hope at finding work now?

What do I need to do differently?

- Mary P.

Dear Mary,

First off, thank you for your service, both in the Navy and in office. I wish I could say your story surprised me, but it's one that is very familiar. Women all across the country have had analogous experiences, and it comes down to a variety of pregnancy discrimination. If I close my eyes and pretend, I can see exactly what (wrongly) makes you an "unattractive candidate." They look at your resume and what do they see? Not a wildly qualified woman with years of experience in demanding, high-impact roles, but a mom who has already "ducked" out of the workforce once before and can be expected to do so again. Flatly, it's wrong.

I've heard countless stories of managers reminding their female employees that their husbands have jobs, and maybe they should focus on the kids right now.

Pregnancy discrimination and the motherhood penalty are extremely well-documented, and I'd encourage you to do your own research, but the gist of it is simple: they think we're flakes. A woman with a wedding ring looks to so many hiring managers as a short-term hire looking for a long-term role. Why, the thinking goes, should they invest time, energy, and money in you when you're just going to leave the moment you have a kid? Sometimes all it takes is even the mention of a boyfriend. And for women returning to the workforce like you? Well, clearly your job won't be your "top priority." In many a misguided mind, your Navy service just doesn't outweigh the fact that you're a mom with kids.

The pandemic is actually exacerbating this problem; not only has the job market dramatically and rapidly contracted, but many employers have lost patience with what working from home actually entails for employees with children; women, especially, are expected to handle primary childcare and homeschooling, and as any mom can attest, kids don't live according to a schedule. That means meetings get interrupted or calls have to be delayed, and on and on. So, rather than make commonsense accommodations for their parenting employees, employers across the land have begun quietly encouraging them to resign, whether explicitly or implicitly through policies penalizing childcare during work hours.

Pregnancy discrimination and the motherhood penalty are extremely well-documented, and I'd encourage you to do your own research, but the gist of it is simple: they think we're flakes.

The fact is, the pandemic is reinforcing traditional gender roles and rolling back decades of economic gains for women. I've heard countless stories of managers reminding their female employees that their husbands have jobs, and maybe they should focus on the kids right now. It's happening all over the country. So what's to be done?

I wish I had better news to report. This is something women face as a class in the pandemic era, and it's not going to improve until it's over – and even then, it's going to be a fight to make that ground back up. But that is certainly cold comfort. The best advice I can offer, now and indefinitely into the future, is to focus your job hunt on women-owned businesses, and in this new age of remote work, you can theoretically work anywhere. Women-owned businesses dot the land, and while not perfect, they're certainly less likely to hold your being a mom against you.

The best advice I can offer, now and indefinitely into the future, is to focus your job hunt on women-owned businesses, and in this new age of remote work, you can theoretically work anywhere.

I recommend starting by looking into local organizations of women-owned businesses, especially small-to-medium businesses (SMBs), and reaching out directly to those owners. Starting a business is a remarkably common second act for moms returning to the workforce because of precisely these issues. The National Association of Women Business Owners has chapters in most major cities in the United States and is a great place to start your search. These women know the score, and many have firsthand experience trying to re-enter a workforce still (and increasingly) hostile to the idea of working moms. Be upfront with them about what you're facing, and highlight your experience; honestly, a nuclear technician on an aircraft carrier who is also a college graduate, held public office, and has two kids is clearly a firestorm of talent, drive, and dedication. You just need to find an employer who understands and values that.