High School Sweethearts? A Guide to Sexual Discovery in a Long Term Relationship

In the beginning, everything is sweet and wonderful, and it is easy to have sexual feelings towards your partner. Think of the times you were passionate about sexual self-discovery, adventurous dates, sweet and unexpected gifts, and hot sex. However, if you have been together for a long time, children, debts, and boredom, just to mention a few, can damper your sex life and make it... bleh. 

Putting definitive effort into your sex life and learning new things can be a great thing for your relationship, and really, you have to take this task upon yourself to keep that fire between you two brightly lit. 

So what are the rules, tricks, and experiments you should include in your sex life to discover yourself and enjoy better sex with your partner? Here we go!

What is sexual self-discovery if you are yet to embrace your inner kinks? Sexual kinks are not new, and you should not be ashamed to tell your partner since you've been together for a long time. Turn up the heat and embrace those sexual fantasies you've always dreamed of. Do you like to be spanked? Does the idea of wild and freaky sex turn you on? Do you love to be blindfolded during sex? Feel free to explore and channel your inner goddess.

Ever watched a movie where the couples pretend they don't know each other, meet at a bar and have hot stranger sex in the restroom. That's some role play there. I'm not telling you to do something unrealistic, but spice your sex life with some role play if you are in a long-term relationship. Try being a stranger on a deserted road and allowing your partner to be a helpful stranger who tries to seduce you off your pants, or a bar pick-up, freaky sex in the car, going to a nearby local hotel for a classic one night. Just be creative and make it fun.

Play Sex Games

If you feel your sex life is not what it used to be, practicing sex ideas for long-term relationships can bring your passion back. Desire thrives on variety, and that's what playing sex games brings to the table. By sex games, I'm not referring to some extreme BDSM games that you see in movies. But there are so many exciting, less intimidating games, that will increase your pleasure and make your sexual self-discovery smooth. Some familiar sex games include erotic dice, truth or dare, adult board games, vibrator trivia games, strip poker, and more!

Threesomes, orgies – have you ever considered what it would be like if you introduced other people into your relationship? Bringing in a third person can change your relationship dynamics. As long as you are both in for it, threesomes can expand your sex life and make it more fun than it used to be. 

Instead of using your text message to update your partner about when the plumber is coming, make your texts kinkier and tease each other for what is coming later in the day. Describe what you're putting on in bed and how you are touching yourself thinking of your partner. Texting is a fantastic way to create little connections. It also builds anticipation. Keep this game on throughout the day. And you will see how sparks will fly when your partner gets home in the evening.

Don't be shy about sexual self-discovery. Masturbation is a great way to learn about your luscious body and that of your partner, improve your physical and mental health and enhance your sex life. It gives you the body confidence that makes it easy for you to explore adult sex toys, roleplay, and more. While solo masturbation is excellent, it can also be great if you masturbate before your partner or even with your partner. Bringing masturbation into your foreplay allows you to take an active role in turning yourself on and showing your partner how exactly you like it. This might feel too vulnerable for you, but It's a great idea if you want to learn how to have better sex.

When you get aroused, you might not be in bed, wearing lingerie, candles lit, and feeling beautiful. You may be coming home sweaty from the gym or getting home after work when you see your partner, and you just want to jump their bones. Don't hold back. Give in to that feeling. Follow your impulses. Don't worry about having some freaky sex on the kitchen counter or the couch (as long as you're both home alone). Sex is not only for a perfect bedroom situation. How to have better sex includes welcoming your desires and going with the flow.

Sex toys like dildos and vibrators can increase your sexual stimulation and please you in ways your partner can't. Experiment with sex toys and discover what you like. Using a sucking silicone vibrator makes sex better between you and your partner. You can shop for sex toys together, and your sexual self-discovery journey won't be a lonely one. 

Yes! A vacation where you mainly want to get it on all the time will improve your sex life. Make time with your partner away from the kids and everyday responsibilities. Book a cozy cabin in the woods or a nice hotel room for the weekend. Pack your favorite sex toys, those sex outfits- or even no clothes at all! Keep your phones away and enjoy the time together.

You and your partner might like to enjoy freaky sex at night, or you prefer to always have a go at it as soon as you wake up. But to keep your sex life exciting and engaging, switch up the time of your lovemaking. If you are used to having it on specific days because of convenience, try and have a quickie when you feel you don't have enough time. If you only have sex at night, try it in the morning. Have sex in the shower, on the sofa, and anywhere different from your bed. The novelty of doing something out of the regular brings an extra level of excitement.

The sex that made you feel like you were the only two people in the world can start to feel like a chore. Don't worry; it happens in many relationships. Light up your sexual self-discovery journey with some intimate sexual positions. Move through multiple sex positions that allow for more eye contact, touch, cuddling, deep penetration, open communication, and vulnerability.

Talking of seduction, if it has become an old thing in your relationship, you need to return it. As you become more comfortable and sex becomes a routine, it's easy to just hop into bed and start having sex. Don't ever let go of the art of seduction. Undress each other, make out in different places in your house, send flirty texts all through the day and always learn to incorporate an element of surprise.

You and your partner should be on a mission to always make each other feel desirable, and it starts outside your bedroom. Compliment and pay attention to each other, flirt, play, and practice these sex ideas for long-term relationships.

Being in a long-term relationship does not mean your sex life has to be boring. With these sexual self-discovery tips, I'm sure your best sex is about to come.