Drawing Boundaries Between Work and Family Life: How to Help Preserve a Sense of Well-Being

People who can work remotely during the pandemic are indeed fortunate. But working at home all the time sometimes makes it hard to balance our personal and work lives. It can feel as if the boundaries aren’t just blurred, but that they’ve dissolved.

I speak from personal experience. I’m a single mother with three adopted sons, ages 15, 7, and 5. Before the pandemic, simple routines like taking the kids to school or commuting to the office helped me keep my work and family lives separate.

Suddenly, we were in a new world of remote learning and video calls with teachers. Each of my children is at a different stage of learning, but all of them need to learn how to write, absorb what they read – or, in the case of my youngest, learn how to read and think critically. I felt an urgency to keep them on track with their education. Meanwhile, my demanding job of leading thousands of data science professionals across multiple time zones – which I absolutely love, by the way – was causing stress to my family and me.  

This stress level caught me a bit by surprise.

Research from the UK Office for National Statistics found a sharp increase in the number of people who feel anxious or find that working from home takes a toll on their mental health. With the added stress, I needed to be bold and establish boundaries. 

For me, being bold is simply how I live. At EY, I brought together a global and diverse team of leading-class data scientists, business, and technology professionals. We created one of the organization’s most dynamic innovation centers, where we use artificial intelligence (AI) to help clients become smart and data-driven companies. So, the pressures of making sure I balance my work and personal life is another challenge to tackle head-on.

But I had to do a bit of a re-set to continue as a productive and happy employee and head of my family. I found that a few small changes to my daily routine make a big difference. Here are several ways that I have drawn boundaries and ultimately made sure that my family and my work lives are defined:

►   Carve out one day of “no internal meetings”: While this might sound a little extreme given work demands, I designated one day to be meeting-free.

With one day open, I can focus on my work and plan ahead. Regular contact with my team and other colleagues is important – but for the most part, those conversations happen on one of the other four days of the workweek. If you can’t carve out an entire day, start small, and reserve a few hours in the morning for meeting-free time. It takes advanced planning and transparent communications, but the rewards in higher productivity and focus are worth it.

►   Establish physical boundaries: I’ve made sure to have a dedicated workspace that’s separate from where I spend time with my family. My home office is for work. The kids have spaces where they only do their schoolwork. I recognize we’re fortunate to have this option, which helps ensure we aren’t multitasking.

If it isn’t possible to set up a physical boundary, then blocking time for critical work is another option. Inevitably, your mental and physical boundaries may still blend a bit while we are still navigating this new way of life – but knowing where the guard rails help you to take a step back and reflect.

►   Be fearless: Another significant step I took is learning to say no. Undoubtedly, I’m mindful of the responsibilities that are part of my role as the EY Global Consulting Data and Analytics Leader. But as a mom, there are precious few things that stop me from reading bedtime stories to my younger boys or helping everyone with their homework.

Certainly, 2020 has been a year like no other. As we look ahead to 2021, I encourage you to take an active role in drawing boundaries between your work and personal life, which can help your outlook stay positive. It’s a benefit that brings rewards to wherever we live and work, especially to ourselves and the people in our lives.