Do I need Botox to Keep My Job?

Jane Fonda’s done it. And certainly, Renee Zellweger, Meg Ryan, and many other female celebrities have as well. They’ve all had cosmetic work done to maintain a youthful appearance and enhance their looks. With the rare exception of Jamie Lee Curtis and a couple of others, it’s pretty much the rule of thumb and widely accepted that as women age in Hollywood, they need to erase all visible signs of aging to keep working.

But let’s face it. It’s not just Hollywood. Because our society worships youthfulness and beauty, professional women over 50 in the workplace today also feel the pressure to look young and attractive to keep their jobs. As they show visible signs of aging, they witness younger women being favored. Their workload is re-distributed, and they are keenly aware that their respect and power are slipping away. Given this double whammy of gendered ageism, women have choices about what compromises they’re willing to make to stay marketable and keep their jobs. They ask themselves, “Should I do Botox and fillers in hopes of maintaining my status and income?” “Should I dye my hair to cover the gray?”

Lois Frankel, a well-known and respected coach and author of several books, including Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, shared with me her experience interviewing to coach a top executive at a Hollywood studio. After chemo, her hair turned white, and she rather liked her new look and decided not to dye her hair. According to Frankel, the interview went very well, but when she didn’t get the assignment and asked for feedback, she was told, “Lois, ours is a youth culture.”

Lois took that as a message that her white hair likely cost her the job. After she received that feedback, she dyed her hair blond again. “What I want is to work, and I want to be considered relevant. And I want to be listened to. And if that’s the case and that takes dyeing my hair blond again, so be it.”

The fear of losing a job due to visible signs of aging and the dire challenge of getting another position plagues many women over 50. This fear is justified. In a recent EEOC study, economists sent about 40,000 invented resumes to employers who’d advertised jobs, then analyzed which applicants got callbacks. “The callback rate declined with age. But the age factor proved even stronger for women.” Researchers have concluded that aging is a gendered process and that women face grave challenges and discrimination during the aging process, especially when it comes to financial and work-related matters.

Given this bias, we all have choices about what compromises we’re willing to make to stay marketable and keep our jobs. We can certainly do an external make-over and use Botox, fillers, or surgery to enhance our looks. No judgment. However, there are other avenues to maintain your credibility and secure your career.

First and foremost, Reject Ageist Assumptions and Stereotypes. 

We allow ourselves to fade into the background instead of continuing to what it takes to be visible and credible, like sharing our opinions and ideas, volunteering to participate, or lead special projects. It’s critical that you identify your ageist assumptions and consciously work to push them aside so you can continue to push your career forward. Demonstrate every day that you’re still in the game.

Declare Your Ambition. As you approach 50 and beyond, your manager and colleagues may believe you’re just biding your time until retirement, that you’re done working hard and no longer have a commitment to do your best work. You need to let them know you’re invested in your career. Schedule a meeting with your manager and get their input on how you can continue contributing value to the team and the organization.

Advocate for Yourself and Others. What is your value proposition? How does your work contribute to successful business outcomes? Use your value proposition to help your managers and colleagues reach their goals. Share and leverage your successful results with others so they may also benefit and learn from your expertise and experience. Make it your intention to shout out the success of other individuals and your team.

Build a Cross-Generational Network. We often shy away from mingling with people outside our age bracket. The notion that we don’t have anything in common, as well as our belief that younger colleagues wouldn’t be interested in getting to know us makes us uncomfortable. However, making connections with younger co-workers can be a win-win. They can benefit from your experience and expertise, and introductions on their behalf, and in turn, perhaps you can learn new skills from them. TikTok anyone?

Own the Power of Your Age. You didn’t get to where you are now by slacking off. You’ve worked hard and learned some valuable lessons along the way. Own your history. Acknowledge your journey and experience. Honor your successes as well as your missteps. They are all part of who you are now at this age, and all of it has value. Never apologize for your age. Because you’re not done yet!