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Help! My Boyfriend Makes Me Do Nasty Things!

Dear Armchair Psychologist,My boyfriend and I are quite comfortable around each other, we both fart freely when we are alone together. Recently, my boyfriend has made a habit of making me pick his boogers because my nails are longer. It's gross but I do it, because I love him. I feel we have gotten too comfortable together. Is the romance dead after you've lived together as a couple for a year or more?- Yuk Yuk

Dear Yuk Yuk,

I almost thought this question was a joke, as I haven't heard of any such thing before. Nonetheless, I am happy to hear that you and your BF make each other happy while tooting up your apartment. Since picking boogers is beyond your comfort zone, you need to either: A) Cut your nails short so you can't retrieve his dried up nasal mucus or B) Have a gentle conversation with him and let him know this is making you uncomfortable and, from now on, he needs to occupy himself with this task alone. Regarding your question about romance, living together is no reason to let the romance die. Do your best to keep an active agenda and prioritize doing things that fill your relationship with romance, intimacy, and happiness. Perhaps it is wise that you both limit the toots while enjoying your romantic candle-lit dinner?

- The Armchair Psychologist

Help! We Messed With Dead People

Dear Armchair Psychologist,My husband and I are both well-mannered mid-westerners living on the east coast. Yesterday, we were driving on the freeway and came across a long line of cars that were tailgating each other with emergency blinkers on. As it turns out, it was a funeral procession. They were in the far right lane, yet we needed to veer into their lane in order to make our exit. As a result, we disrupted the chain of cars. We both feel horribly guilty and disrespectful, but I can't help to wonder if we were in the right or wrong?- Rude Living Human

Dear Rude Living Human,

I'm sorry that you're racked with guilt, but the good news is that guilt is rooted in compassion and empathy, therefore (depending on which religion you subscribe to) perhaps excludes you from going to hell :) It is great that you pose this question because I, a Swedish immigrant, and many others who may not have grown up driving cars are unaccustomed to these traditions, and may commit offenses due to not having learned the correct etiquette in these instances. In most states, funerals have the right of way and in some,
it is actually illegal to disrupt a procession. The proper etiquette is to yield and
Some have gotten ticketed for this offense. Don't believe me? Ask
who got ticketed twice and lost his job for messing with the dead!

- The Armchair Psychologist

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