I guess you could say entrepreneurship is in my blood. Growing up, I remember assisting my mom as she set out to bring her latest idea to life. Six years ago, I had the opportunity to help bring an idea and passion of my own to life and found myself once again embarking on that journey with family. This time it wasn’t playing the little assistant to my mom but being a co-founder and partner in a new enterprise, along with my husband and my brother-in-law. Definitely not the same as an adolescent and teenager casually helping her mom... 

I know everyone is likely on the edge of their seat wondering whether or not the business or the relationships failed, so I will give the good news first so you have time to marinate with the tips. The business and the relationships are still intact and are in fact thriving, but there have been no shortage of learnings and growth opportunities along the way. I’d like to share the five tips I have found and continue to find most useful along this six year journey. 

Set clear boundaries

  • It is extremely important to set boundaries between work time and family time. In my opinion, this is the foundation for successfully balancing work and family when working with family. Maybe it is no work talk after 7:00pm or no work talk at meal time regardless of the time of day. To maintain the best work and family environment, you have to have some divide. If you don’t, you will quickly find yourself consumed and realize that you are sacrificing on one side or the other and that is not healthy for anyone. 

Don’t take it personally and assume positive intent

  • When you have a pre-existing personal relationship and add a professional relationship on top of that, it is easy to take everything that happens in the professional setting and view it through a personal lens. It is important to remember that feedback, both the good and the bad, is not a reflection on you,  the person, nor on your family or friends. Your family member or friend doesn’t think less of you if they provide some constructive criticism on your latest presentation. They don’t think you are incapable just because they disagree with your idea. Think of this as establishing a clear mental boundary between work related talk and actions and nonwork related talk and actions. 

Ask yourself “would I expect this of a colleague?”

  • It is very easy to find yourself expecting more of someone because you know them personally and have seen what they are capable of in other parts of their life or have watched their growth professionally over the years. But it is a slippery slope when working with family. You can quickly find yourself holding your sibling, spouse, or friend to higher, and in some cases unrealistic, expectations without even realizing it. This can cause frustration for both parties which can be detrimental to both the work relationship as well as the personal relationship. So ask yourself “would I expect this of a colleague at this level?” If the answer is probably not, dial it back a bit. 

Remember to celebrate and congratulate

  • You might think a thank you goes without saying, that your family or friend knows how much you appreciate them and what they do each and every day. And that may very well be the case, but a little praise and celebration at milestones can go a long way to preserving the working and personal relationships. This is hard work for both of you; celebrate the wins.

At the end of the day, family comes first

  • Jobs will come and go. Companies will rise and fall. When working with family or friends, always strive to prioritize that personal relationship. There may come a time when that means one of you decides to pursue another job or career and that is just fine. That is not considered a failure. That is prioritization. Many people find it difficult to work with people they have an existing personal relationship with. It is certainly not for the faint of heart and takes a lot of work and patience. In the end, perseverance is what matters most.