School is out, and your summer custody arrangement is in. Depending on how you handle co-parenting during these few months, you may be looking at a substantial amount of time without your kids. You can look at the situation as a way to make memories of your own and work on yourself.
This list will help you plan a boss single mom summer. You’ll indulge in self-care, strengthen relationships and do the things you never have time for when you’re in charge of the kids. You have official permission to enjoy your time alone.
Create a Budget
Once you have your improved mindset and are ready to have fun, it’s time to make a budget. It’s not the most glamorous first step, but as a single mom, you must maximize every penny and know where your funds are going.
Your budget should include your usual expenses plus contributions toward summer spending for your kids, child care during the day while you work and your fun money.
Establish Your Summer Custody Schedule
If you and your children’s other parent have a good working relationship when it comes to the kids, you may decide to split custody differently during the summer months. You can arrange that together in advance or stick to the typical agreement, so you know when you’ll have your children with you.
You should also plan any activities or trips you’d like for your kids and discuss them with their other parent. While the court would have established a set child support payment partly based on income and child care expenses, you should also both contribute to other activities your children want to do, like summer camp or lessons. Knowing this in advance will set you up for success rather than stress.
Write out Your Summer Bucket List
Now to the fun stuff. With your budget in mind, create a summer bucket list of all the exciting things you’d like to do with your alone time. Brainstorm all the activities you don’t get to do with your children around.
Establish a mix of free and paid activities, so you know you’ll have something to choose from no matter how much of your budget you have left for the month. Give yourself plenty of options, knowing you won’t get through everything. Maybe you’ll try to go swimming or visit a local state park for a soothing nature walk. Or, maybe you want to go out to dinner with friends or catch a movie. Carry your leftover ideas into next year’s bucket list.
Go on a Date
If you’re feeling ready for romance, going on a date or two while the kids are away is a good use of your time. They may not be ready to understand you seeing someone else yet, but that doesn’t mean you don’t still have the desire to date. Use your summer to test the waters of finding love.
Make Your Favorite Food
Kids have particular palettes and may not like foods that are in any way “different.” Now is the time to bring out all your favorites they won’t stomach. Get the Thai food takeout you’ve been craving, or whip up a batch of sauerkraut and sausage. Since it’s summer, try grilling up something new or making a batch of seasonal salads.
Sleep In
No 6 a.m. wake-up call for you, at least not on the weekends when you have the house to yourself. Feel free to sleep in as late as you like. Greet the day once the sun is up and enjoy a slower pace.
Tackle a Home DIY Project
Paint and power tools are far more scary when you add kids to the mix. While yours are with their other parent, tackle the project you’ve been wanting to get to. Wallpaper an accent wall, paint your bedroom, or add board and batten to the bathroom, complete with hooks for towels. Your imagination and budget are the only limits.
Tackle Your To-Be-Read Pile
You have a lot on your plate any given day, between work, running a house and taking care of your kids. Now that it’s summer and the kids are spending more time with their other parent, you can finally dig into your list of waiting books.
Take Yourself Out
Where would you love to visit but wouldn’t take your kids? Museums and art galleries are often cheap or free and will provide a whole day of enjoyment. You can peruse the exhibits peacefully, reading every plaque you want without temper tantrums or endless potty breaks.
Have a Girls’ Night
Take this time to reconnect with your friends. These ladies probably help you a lot during the year, offering to babysit and bringing meals when needed. Now, you can spend kidless quality time and strengthen your bonds with some fun.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Even with a fun list of items to check off, summer days without your kids can feel lonely. A gratitude journal will keep you centered in the moment and focused on what you have to be thankful for. Brainstorm and write three to five items every day, and see how much better you feel.
Enjoy Guilt-Free Summer Fun
Many single moms feel guilty for enjoying their time alone, especially at the beginning. You have to trust your kids are safe and having a good time with their other parent. There’s nothing for you to feel guilty over. Once you can accept you’re allowed to have fun, your summer will get so much better. If your kids are older, you can have them help you decide what to do while they’re away.
