As the new decade dawned, I sat at my computer for an entire day, attempting to make good on a promise to my child. "Attempt" is the right word, because it was surprisingly difficult to purge my social media of posts involving her. Even after five passes, Instagram mysteriously unearthed additional photos, trapping me in a seemingly unwinnable game of Whack-A-Mole. You can bring your child into the digital world, but it isn't so easy to take them out.
"Sh*t!" my daughter exclaimed as she dropped her iPad to the floor. A little bit of context; my daughter Victoria absolutely loves her iPad. And as I watched her bemoan the possible destruction of her favorite device, I thought to myself, "If I were in her position, I'd probably say the exact same thing."
It is terrifying when you do not have all the answers, especially when you are a parent and your children are looking to you for safety. We are living in a very chaotic time due to the fear of the unknown while a feeling of powerlessness and despair creeps over us. Some of us have many questions while others are not sure what to ask or what to do during this difficult period. The issue is that human beings seek comfort and once they receive that comfort, they either experience life lessons, are destined to repeat patterns until they learn from the lesson, or never understand the lesson at all.
I'm 34 years old. I have been in a relationship for the past six years. I am also unmarried, and I have no kids. Too often, I scroll through Instagram and look at the endless women who are pregnant or who already have beautiful families. After trying to conceive for over two years, seeing other people's "haves" on the internet often makes me feel my "have nots" to an extreme. Every time I see a pregnancy announcement, or even an engagement—even though I am in no rush to get married—it makes me feel lesser. I get suck in a "Why not me?" mentality.