How to Find Your Voice and Never Dim Your Light

For many women, finding their voice and using it can be uncomfortable, especially in business. 60% of women in the workplace don’t feel comfortable showing up as their true selves. Throughout history in the corporate hierarchy, women have been taught not to cause conflict or insert their opinions, especially towards male executives.

Despite the world progressing towards an equal workplace, these are often unwritten rules and habits that are hard to break. If we constantly fear speaking up in the workplace where we spend most of our time during the week, how will that affect our personal life? Knowing why it’s so important to find a voice, women can thrive in their personal lives and careers. 

Women often dim their light and are not using their voices because the fear of being silenced is greater than the reward of speaking up.

This is an insecurity that can be hard to overcome, but it is possible. 

Here are some points to consider when feeling as though your voice is being silenced: 

• Who exactly are people? Think about the fact that you are still here despite “people” saying something. 
• Real talk, “people” are not thinking about you as much as you think. “People” have their own stuff to tend to. 
• Let’s stop giving so much energy to people who take away from who you are. Instead, pour that energy into walking in the freedom of who you are, of who the Lord created you to be, pursuing your dreams and goals. How about pouring that energy into the people who support you, people who want to work with you? I do not know when it started, but way too much energy is spent talking about haters, people who do not like us, shady people, and people who do not support us. By the time we get to the end of dedicating our energy to this, we do not have the energy to do the things that give us life! Let’s not give these too much time and energy. Really, take a moment to reflect on how much time you dedicate to these things. No more! If it does not have anything to do with your calling, dreams, or goals, stop giving it so much attention. 

Many negative effects could arise from constantly diminishing yourself and not using your voice. Not only are you not using your power to change things around you, make things better for others and yourself, but there are long-term effects that could potentially harm you as well. These are a few of the dangers that could happen that have been developed through the framework of my clients’ experiences, research, my background in mental health, being a therapist for over four years, and personal experiences.

• Mental health burden: Hiding who you are is extremely taxing on your mental health. You are essentially going against everything your mind is telling you to do and be. Yet, you box yourself in to fit in. If you have ever codeswitched and did it all day, you probably found yourself tired after work, wanting to lounge at the end of the day. Why is this? Because you have had to exert more energy all day long. Nothing is wrong with you. You are exhausted from trying to be someone you are not. Imagine the toll on your mental and physical health if this has taken place for years. Remember, nothing is wrong with you. You are exhausted. You need rest. You need support. You need to walk in freedom. 
• Forgetting about yourself: Your life might become one where you want to please others and forget about yourself. You could look up one day and say, “What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Who am I? You might look up one day and discover that you have created a life based on the expectations of others.
• All those talents and gifts will go to waste. You were given your personality for a reason. You were given those gifts, talents, and desires for a reason.
• If you are a parent or aunt/uncle, you will be an example of someone who did not pursue your dreams and catered your life to the thoughts and opinions of others. And this will be passed on to them. Remember, children do what they see, not necessarily what they are told. So, what are your children, nieces, nephews, godchildren seeing you do in terms of shining your light?

Gathering the courage to speak up can be scary, and it is essential to understand that it’s a process that looks different for everyone. Take the steps that work for you and allow yourself to be gentle with yourself. There are actual benefits that come from using your voice and letting your light shine through - increased productivity, mental health, and overall more joy in your life are just a few of them.