“Dating Hot Women” Fiancée Calls Foul

“Dating Hot Women” Fiancée Calls Foul

Because of an overwhelming feeling of “ick” surrounding the entire topic, it’s hard to know exactly where the guilt lies for the epic failure of journalism by the New York Post entitled “Why I Won’t Date Hot Women Anymore.” The piece, which its protagonists claim is not in any way reflective of its subject’s actual sentiments on courting models vs. mere mortals, has certainly ruffled a lot of feathers across social platforms.

As with most negative publicity, opinions have been cast on a person because of an accusal, one of the media’s increasingly popular methods for garnering clicks. Whether or not the piece is accurate, what has become clear is that people love to read controversial stories, get outraged, then share it with friends and further rip apart a “deserving” villain.

The first reaction upon reading the article, which claims that a New York City man named Dan Rochkind has moved on from dating “any woman he wants,” to settling for his “merely beautiful” fiance (a matchmaker named Carly Spindel), is ire. “Douchebag, vain, and total ass,” were just some of the choice phrases used in comments across the social sphere about Dan. After reading the piece, it’s not hard to see why. The article is filled with additional fury-inducing phrases like “she’s 5-foot-2, so she can’t be a runway model,” and “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.” The phraseology conjures recent memories of “pussy grabbing” and other utterances that place men in the driver’s seat of dating and sexual partner selection.

Even if these hard-to-believe-they-are-real quotes (the Spindel camp vehemently denies any of them are true) did come out of Rochkind’s mouth, the fact that the Post printed them calls out a bigger issue of non-tabloid press reinforcing stereotypes and writing salacious headlines to get clicks. Even by Post standards, this piece, which body and mind shames just about every female on the earth, including those gorgeous, but vapid models the protagonist once “dated,” is a train wreck. SWAAY spoke with Janis and Carly Spindel to find out more about why this article ever saw the light of day.

“He never said that he ‘could have anyone he wanted;’ he never called me ‘merely beautiful;’ he never said that I’m not a swimsuit model; and he never said that he ‘loves that I’m not like the swimsuit models’ he used to go for because he never went for swimsuit models,” says Carly. “He started off the interview saying he never dated models.”

“This article was not honest. It was the complete opposite of honest.”
-Janis Spindel

Both Janis and Carly, who are professional matchmakers and business partners, claim the piece not only defiled Dan’s character, but that the quotes were either entirely fabricated or taken out of context to paint a picture that while salacious, and undeniably shareable, was also damaging.

Carly And Janis Spindel

“What we would like to do is diffuse [the situation] and give information on the way Dan was perceived because it’s the complete antithesis of who he is,” says Janis, his soon to be mother-in-law. Not only does she say Dan is a “stud muffin,” but she also adds that he is “family-oriented, charitable, thoughtful and romantic,” to name a few of the many compliments she attributed to him. “It’s a blissful love story that unfortunately was made into the biggest nightmare… They need to get a grip at that paper. I was on the phone with that guy for an hour and he literally didn’t print anything I said.” As of press time, The Post did not respond to requests seeking comment.

Carly says the only reason Dan was even included in the piece was because she had asked him to be interviewed to promote her business and share the successful love story which emerged–her own. While there are whisperings by some who speculate the entire article was a publicity stunt, there’s no doubt its content touched a nerve and proved most people are not above taking what they read at face value. “He only did the interview as a favor to me,” says Carly, who was set up with Dan by her mom. “He’s very under the radar. He’s completely the opposite of me in that I’m a little sceeny and a little bit not grounded at times. He shies away from a photo where Janis and I both run towards the camera. He was really hesitant to do the whole story and I said just please speak to them for five minutes.”

Janis and Carly Spindel

According to a member of Spindel’s publicity team, who actually pitched the piece to the NY Post, “The impetus of the article was based on a Harvard study that the Post had run about two weeks ago that said when people date for beauty alone they find their partners aren’t reliable, and that….people are realizing they should be looking for other things.”

Well, obviously…

The PR representative goes on to say the Post reporter reached out to her, asking if she had any clients that could be a good fit for a piece that expanded on the study. “I said yes, I have two women that are NYC matchmakers and they pride themselves on setting up relationships that are based on substance and value, not just beauty,” she says. “That was the pitch.”

Additionally, Janis and Carly claim the Post purposefully omitted the content from the interview based on the subject they had been pitched, instead focusing on twisting words to get a more clickable story. “Ninety-nine percent of interview we had wasn’t mentioned,” says Carly. “The one quote that I had made me look like I was agreeing with what was mentioned when I was just saying that our clients want both [looks and personality], they want the balance.”

“It totally floored me how people find this so interesting when we live in a world that has actual news going on,” says Carly, who will walk down the aisle in just nine weeks. “I’ve never seen any story get picked up like this. We are not talking about our President, we’re not talking about taxes, or healthcare. People need to move on and worry about making the world a better place.”

Regarding her soon-to-be husband’s quotes; Carly claims that “half of them were not true” and the other half were taken out of context. “He’s just ready to get back to our lives and worry about the things that matter in life,” she says.

Janis, who met her own husband at the gym, and set up her daughter via the same location, says while looks are clearly important, the point of the article was to spotlight the love story between Carly and Dan, and certainly to shout out her business. In a world obsessed with looks and countless dating options, one thing can be said without doubt; neither the Post nor the Spindels deny that attractiveness is key to finding lasting companionship.

“When we’re at the gym, we’re scouting,” says Janis, a self-proclaimed gym buff. “At the end of the day men are visual and they fall in love with their eyes and that’s not new news. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s in their DNA. I don’t think in 26 years I’ve ever had a man come to me and ask me for an ugly woman who is a chubby chaser. It just doesn’t work that way.”

Like with any good joke, there’s always some truth behind it–even though, this time, we aren’t laughing.

Belisa Silva

Belisa is an editor with more than 10 years of experience. Prior to SWAAY, she worked as freelance writer, covering lifestyle, fashion and beauty industries. Belisa was a Market Editor at Women's Wear Daily for five years, where she interviewed rockstar business women like Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Lopez and Iman. Belisa also contributes to Cosmetic Executive Women, where she highlights female executives making an impact in the beauty industry.

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